Didn’t take long to fall back into old habits. Back for barely a week, and I called my parents up and begged to come back to QC again.
My fault really. Despite latently knowing that I wasn’t really ready to return, I did so anyway. I used the transition of my home building from it’s old CHU to the new one as my excuse, because I thought, hoped I was needed. To answer questions and concerns of the residents and get them through what I referred to as a rough patch.
Truth of the matter is I wasn’t needed. If TCHC had seriously felt that M. and I could have done something, then they would have advised us long beforehand. But they didn’t, mostly due to the lack of time left prior.
I’m feeling that perhaps this Tenant Representative position is not right for me currently. That one of the main reasons I keep slipping back is from being run ragged all the time. Never knowing which way is up, or what is truly wanted from me.
Aside from a few good folk at 250 Davenport Road, there is otherwise little support, and that in turn frustrates me greatly. I want to do something, contribute somewhere, where I can see some sort of progress and feel good about it and myself, and that isn’t happening.
By the end of the week I’ll make my decision. I think I’ve already made it though. I’m just procrastinating because it feels like I’m giving up, and that’s not something I take kindly too. I just have to convince myself that I’m not really giving up, and that I’m gaining something back instead.
What exactly that might be though is the $25,000 question.